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Newsletter Archive

Issue 18

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 18 February 1st, 2001

Written by Tom Glander,
and Joe Robson,

You subscribed using this email address:

Subscription info is at the bottom.

=====GREAT NEWS!=============================

Did you know that the highly acclaimed Newbie Club eBook
'Windows for Newbies' is now available on CD? And you also
get the Download version too. What a fantastic gift for
someone struggling to get to grips with his or her new PC.
Read all about this widely publicized ground breaking PC
learning system here...


<< MENU >>

1. Tom's Thoughts
2. Are You Spaced Out?
3. Joe's Place: "OK, I Give In!"
4. I've Download, Now What?
5. Making Hot Links For Your Email
6. Administrative Wotnot


1. Tom's Thoughts

Hello {firstname},

It's incredible. I just got off the phone with a domain
registrar (those are the guys who you buy domain names
from) and he shocked me, but good.

"In the early days of the Internet, when Network Solutions
was handling ALL of the new registrations, they were making
a million dollars a day."

Do you believe that? I'm not sure of the accuracy, but I
do know that the number of new domain names being registered
every day is huge. And that you will probably, sooner or
later, want your own domain name.

Registering a domain can be tricky for the Newbie. That's
why we created the following site that will at least help
you understand more:

Check it out. And check to see if your name is taken. If
you decide to register it, the cost is only $13.50 per year.
Pretty cheap, compared to the $70 per domain for two years
I had to go through when I first registered a domain for
the Bed and Breakfast we ran: it was.
Away back in the beginning. Yea, way back in the dark ages
of the Internet--1998!

Here's to your education!



Geek-speak Buster: Upload

This is what you do when you transfer a file from
your computer to another computer, using a network.
That network can be the Internet, which is just
the mother of all networks. You upload when you
move your HTML files and graphic files to another
server computer when you're maintaining your
web site. See for
details on doing your own site.


------ Get Smart - Get 'First Website Builder'

For the meager sum of $29.95 you can build your very own first
Website, and there's no need to spend a penny more! This ground
breaking product contains 4 - yes 4 - Newbie-Speak ebooks
showing you step by step how to Design, Create, Write, Backup, 
Upload, Automate, and Publicize your own individual Website. 
Using FREE Software and Graphics. Get your FREE evaluation copy 
here and you'll also receive a 5 part emailed Web Building 

2. Are You Spaced Out?

Look, I'm going to say this one time, and won't repeat myself.

If you aren't paying attention to the amount of stuff that's
collecting on your computer, you're going to mess it up.
I get email asking the same question over and over again, so
let's talk about it again.

Your computer has two ways of storing your junk. And your
prized possessions, too. It's either on the hard drive, which
is called 'storage space' or it's in memory, which is called

What? You say you can't install a program? Windows just
pouts and gives you a stupid error message that doesn't make
sense anyway? It may be that you simply don't have enough
room on your hard drive.

You need at least 250 megabytes of free space. That gives
Windows room to maneuver the oil tanker it is. Room to
unpack the program you're trying to install, arrange all
of its bits and bytes in an orderly fashion, and sweep up
after itself when done. If you're cramped for space, forget
trying to do very much with anything new.

Here's the remedy: Use the Add/Remove Programs dealy-bob
in the Control Panel. Get rid of programs you don't or
won't use. Clean it up. Clean it out.

You also need room for the swap file to do its thing. That's
another story for a day when you have absolutely nothing
else you want to do. So I won't bore you with it now.

If you have a large hard drive with plenty of free space,
you may still get stuck like Joe did, because your Temp
folder is full of garbage. Or half full. Be sure and read
his full report. It'll be a tear jerker for sure.


------ At Last. A Totally Newbie-Friendly Unzipper!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!


3. Joe's Place. "OK I Give In!"

Hi {firstname}, Chin up, it can't be that bad!

You've got problems, they've got problems, everybody's got
problems. But no-one's got problems as big as mine!

That's how it seems sometimes doesn't it? Everything's going
just fine, the sky is blue, the roses smell sweet then...
wallop! And no matter how bad someone else's problem is, yours 
is worse.

Well this week I thought I'd do my best to make you feel
better, and tell you how bad things can REALLY get. Now this is
a secret just between you and me (OK, and Tom as well) and I'm
trusting you to let it go no further. Because if word gets out,
then my reputation is ruined!........

.... This week I had to *force* myself to have a conversation
with a real live 'GEEK'! Not just an ordinary everyday 'Techie'
(heaven knows they're bad enough) but a 'Super Techie'.Yep, our
plans for The Newbie Club have reached the stage where I had to
admit defeat when Tom said "OK Joe, swallow your pride, pull
the black ski mask down over your face, act nonchalant, and
ring that Programmer in the UK. He's only 200 miles down the
road to you".

I couldn't find a ski mask, so I donned a Lone Ranger mask from
a Christmas Cracker, put a handkerchief over my mouth, and
rang the number from my new high-tec cell phone (so the call
couldn't be traced) ....

"Hello. Is that Ima Geek? I wonder if you can help me". (Man, I
nearly choked on the words, it was so painful).

"Yes it is. That sounds like lunkhead Joe - am I right?"

"How dyknow that?" I croaked - ripping off my disguise.

"Because your partner Tom just rang me and told me to expect
your call"..... It was a setup! The Techies and Geeks had got
together and ripped away any vestige of pride I had left.

But surprise, surprise. We had a great conversation (I won't
bore you with the Techie details - you wouldn't understand:-), 
and we got on really well together. He understood what I wanted,
and he explained how it could be done. Well actually, all he
said was "Yes, I can do that," but at least it was in

But as you sow, so shall you reap. I had betrayed my principles
and had to pay the price. An hour later my email client crashed
and I couldn't send or receive email for almost 2 days!

Eventually I tried to reinstall the software and Bill Gates
sent me a note saying that there wasn't enough room in my Temp

Sheesh, I have enough free disc space to store every one of his
products 10 times over!

But when I looked in the Windows/Temp folder there was a bundle
of stuff that was *very* important to me. So I swallowed hard
and deleted about half of it. Bill Gates still insisted it was 
too full.

Darn the Techies and full speed ahead! Or so I thought as
I called my partner in the States. "Hey Tonto. I've emptied
this *%?* temporary folder of most of the stuff, and it still 
won't work!"

I could almost see the grin on his face from 3000 miles away,
because the answer was sooooo simple (to a Techie anyway).You
see, that Windows/Temp folder was half full of stuff that I
*thought* was important. My wallet, my credit cards, and the
Rolex watch I keep around for good luck were all stored there.
Pretty important stuff, eh?

Turns out I was wrong. You see, these were just COPIES
of the real thing that I had installed in other areas of my
computer. "Just trust me" said Tom, who was obviously reveling
in my stoopidity. So I deleted them all, and Bill Gates stopped
sending me his infuriating notes!

So you see {firstname}, next time you think your problems may
be overwhelming you, and maybe you need a little courage to
face up to them, just picture me wearing that Lone Ranger mask,
and force yourself to whisper these words through a clean
handkerchief ...

"Hello is that Ima Geek?"

And I promise that you'll feel a whole lot better!

You think you've got problems? - you ain't seen NOTHIN!

Keep smilin' {firstname},


P.S. If I'm behind in replying to your email, now you know why!
But it's the Geeks' fault. I mean, why store copies of stuff
when I didn't ask them to? No, I don't want the technical reasons
thank you!

=====GREAT NEWS!====================================

Did you know that the highly acclaimed Newbie Club eBook
'Windows for Newbies' is now available on CD? And you also
get the Download version too. What a fantastic gift for
someone struggling to get to grips with his or her new PC.
Read all about this widely publicized ground breaking PC
learning system here...


4. I've Downloaded, Now What?

Hey, this is all based on real life work in the email
trenches. Serious stuff, folks. If you don't like it,
you can always unsubscribe. But since the list just
keeps getting bigger and bigger, we're somehow believing
you like this weekly info package. So keep reading!

"I've downloaded a bunch of stuff. Now what do I do with
it all?" (Hey, that's one thing is computer is good for--

Okay. Here's what you do. If you downloaded a game, you'll
have to install it. Egads, what a hassle.

Installing a program is really just a matter of double
clicking the icon you downloaded (which represents the
file or files that make up the program, picture, or
whatever it was you downloaded). Assuming this is program
like Unzip Wizard ( you
can literally just click 'Next' or 'OK' to everything.

Playing the "yes man" is safe computing practice for the
most part. When you answer affirmatively, you are simply
accepting the judgment of the boys and goils who created
the program. You're accepting the default. And the
program will happily install itself wherever it deems
is best.

Just keep your head about you, reading the little screens of
info as they flash up. That way, you stay an informed user
of your computer.

So there you have it. Double click that icon. Open it up
and see what it does. You can always remove the stuff
you install if you don't like what you've done.

Be bold. Make that click!


FREE Newbie Club Courses - by email. Just send a blank
email for the course you need. It's delivered every few
days to your desktop - automatically! (AOL users must
remove the mailto: part of the address.)

Backing up your stuff:

Organize your files:

10 PC tips:

Finding files:

Take the load off your PC:

See how easy it is to get info to people? Get your own
FREE autoresponders at

### ### ### ### ###

Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet? Shame on you.

>> "Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 19 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

>> "Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins Classic, (currently being sold at
Amazon for $11.96) plus observations and Copywriting Tutorials by
Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson, who is also co-author of the
blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell".

Get both of them FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at


5. Making Hot Links For Your Email

"You've got mail!" So what else is new? For me, it's pure
pleasure to read my email. I just checked my stats in
Eudora Pro, and they reveal that I received 6,452 messages
during January. Compare that with 5,573 messages the previous
month. It's growing!

How much mail have I sent? Only 2,954 messages in January, and
1,699 in December. The difference is called...

... SPASM. 

And it ain't no Hormel product, either.

I didn't count the number of links to web sites, email
reports and the like, but I'm sure you'd like to know
how to make a hot link to a web site, or to a report,
or whatever. So here's how it's done.

To make a link clickable, you put a 'mailto:' in front of
the address, like this:

See, it's hot. But if you're using AOL, it's not. So why
not? Simply because AOL uses a different mailing system that
doesn't comply with the rest of the world. Hey, if I were
as massive as AOL, I'd do things my own way, too.

So, putting a 'mailto:' in front of an email address makes
it clickable - or 'hot'.

If you want to include a link to a web page, you just
put what's called a fully qualified URL into your email,
like this:

Some email clients will make the link hot if you leave
off the 'http://' part, but others won't. So to be compliant
with everyone, use the fully qualified style. Again, AOL
has to be different on this. They require a complete HTML
treatment scheme, which most people won't bother doing.
So if you're on AOL, you'll have to copy and paste a URL
into your browser in order to visit a page.

There's only a million more things to learn about, but
we have to save some of it for next time.


'Registry For Newbies' is a Newbie-Speak ebook that covers all
the Techie stuff you need to know, to really boost your
knowledge of your PC. And your performance. Read about it here:


That's it. See you next week.


6. Administrative Wotnots

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... and permission granted to forward this email to someone
you know. Just don't spam anyone with it!

The TNC INSIDER is a production of The Newbie Club(TM) and
is owned by Roglan International, whose partners are
Tom Glander and
Joe Robson

(C) 2001 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

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