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Newsletter Archive

Issue 23

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 23 March 9, 2001

Written by Tom Glander,
and Joe Robson,

Your subscribed address: "{emailaddress}"


----- Previously Unpublished Prose of Wiley Shakeyspeare

"To CD or not to CD - that is the question. Whether it be
nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
Techie help files, or ... to get streetwise, bite the bullet, and 
buy the 'Windows For Newbies' disc of amazing How-To's... Verily, this be a wondrous product, praised mightily by Kings and Commoners alike. Methinks tis a glorious undertaking, and
surely destined to be an historic masterpiece, and the glorious
savior of lost forgotten Newbies in both this, and far distant 

To see what inspired Willy Shakyspeare's eloquent prose, clicke
ye here Tis wondrous indeed!


<< MENU >>

+ 1. Tom's Thoughts: "Are There Any Worth Sharing?"
+ 2. Tutorial: "Tracing Your Way to L.A"
+ 3. Joe's Place .... "Where's Joe Gone?"
+ 4. Joe's Geek Ad of the Week
+ 5. Linda's Office .... "Get Rid of the ">"
+ 6. Administrivia


1. --- Tom's Thoughts: Do I Have Any Worth Sharing?

Hello {firstname},

A lot of letters thanking Linda for her contribution to this
newsletter were sent her way this week. She appreciates them,
and surely responded as the need have indicated. Thanks for
taking the time to write.

I notice there's a real demand for new domain name registrations from our site at We just added the ability to transfer a domain. So if you have a domain that needs moving, you can do just that using the info on the site. It only costs $11.95 and will extend your registration for one year from the time it expires. Learn more about domain name registration from the link above.

I predict the time is coming when EVERYONE will own a web site, have a domain name registered, and be communicating via the Internet. Well, maybe not EVERYONE, but close. There's just so much you can do. Going through our 4-volume set on this very topic amazed me again. There's a lot of info packed in there, and it's just for Newbies. Check it out again for the first

I also ran through the forum, hair flowing in the cyberbreeze.
Some excellent questions and answers there. If you have time,
and want to learn even more, or see just check out the kinds of
questions being asked, visit and
get an education. For FREE, no less.

Finally, I'm going to show you something fun to do with your
computer. Well, at least I thought it was fun. :-) It's a way
to show how many different computers your information has to
go through to get from your computer to a specific destination.
It's in one of the tutorials below.

That's it, {firstname}. Until next time.

Take care,


Geek-Speak Buster: Web Host

If you decide you want your own web site, you'll have
to have a web host. That's the outfit that keeps the
computers running, the email flowing, and the pizza on
hand for the 14 year old kids who are running the show.
The host maintains the computers that all of the web
sites are running on.

------ How to build your own Website in 2 days or less.

The Newbie Club has brought together 4 individual authors -
including a Newbie - to create the very first Newbie-Speak
publication of it's kind. The Newbie Club First Website Builder
shows you how to create, write, present, backup, promote and
publish your First Website. And all accomplished with FREE
programs, and graphics. This groundbreaking 4 volume
publication makes Website ownership a reality for ALL NEWBIES.
And about time too. Free trial at

2. Tracing Your Route

If you ever wonder how far it is to a particular computer
from your own, there's a simple way to find out. Included with
Windows is a program called Trace Route. You can use this to
trace the route from your computer to The Newbie Club's server
in Los Angeles. And you can see how long it takes for info
to get there. Here's how it works.

First of all, be sure you're online. Then...

Open a DOS window. Click Start, Programs, then scroll if needed
until you find the MS-DOS Prompt item on the list. Click it to
open the DOS window. (This won't work if you aren't in a DOS window.)

Once that window is open, you'll see a black screen with a
blinking cursor, like this: C:\WINDOWS>. Where the cursor is
blinking is where you'll start typing.

Type 'tracert' (without the quote marks), hit the spacebar once, and type '' (again, without the quote marks). When you're done typing, hit the Enter key. (Try other sites, too.)

What you see next is interesting. You'll see the number of 'hops'
required to get from your computer to Los Angeles, California. 
If you were an electron flowing through the wires, you could 
plan your trip based on time. The measurement used is 
milliseconds. Pretty fast, but not as fast as a nanosecond. Ah,
who cares, right?

The whole point of this exercise is to let you see that there's
more going on with your computer than meets the eye. Actually, your eye can behold a lot of what's happening behind the scenes. You just have to know which button to click!

It took me 15 hops to get to Los Angeles from Battle Creek,
Michigan. How many hops did it take you? The average time was 30 milliseconds (ms). There's one more reason why this is a
useful thing to know. Here it is:

If you're having problems connecting to a web site, or
you aren't sure your modem is really connected, this will
show you if something is down. The info displayed in the DOS
window will tell you there's a problem, because it will say
it timed out. It'll quit trying, and you'll know there's a
problem with the site you're trying to reach.

If your eyes are rolling back in your head, great. 
You already know this stuff.

3. Joe's Place ..... "Where's Joe Gone?"

Hi {firstname}.

Sorry, but Joe's not available today. He's, gone into one of his
'artistic' moods and locked himself in the Bar to write the
announcement of the next Newbie Club Product. He says he gets most of his inspiration in there, and the blond cocktail waitress gives him lots of ideas. She told him she has a fid. I think she means a PhD, but she has a slight lisp.

Actually, I think it should only take a few minutes to write,
because the product is so great, it will sell itself.

Still, you know what these artistic types are like -
temperamental and full of themselves. He'll probably stagger out
tomorrow saying how tired he is, and how difficult a time he had
in writing it.

Anyway, he slipped a note under the door with the first of his
'Geek-Speak Ad of the Week'. These are genuine ads for genuine products, which are so unintelligible to him, he thinks you'll enjoy them.

'til later {firstname}.

Keep smilin'


PS - Hey you didn't really think I was in the bar did you? But I
definitely wasn't kidding about the next Product - it's terrific
- and so is the one after that. And the one after that? It will
blow your mind - Trust me!


Geek-Speak Buster: Server

No, it's not the guy wearing an apron at the local
restaurant. But like the waiter, a Server does a
whole lot of delivering. A Server is a computer with
the dedicated task of delivering information. When 
you type an address into your browser's address bar,
or click a link on a web page, you are requesting info
from a computer somewhere. A Server computer. A Servant.
A slave. And that's what I like about these machines. They
just keep serving non-stop, until they crash their little
brains out in a massive hard drive failure. Or something
less dramatic.


------ Finally. A Totally Newbie-Friendly Unzipper!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And The
Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!


------------ It's Not Just Amazing .... It's MAGIC!

In the 4 weeks since it was released, our latest eBooklet,
'Keyboard MAGIC!' has now outsold every other Newbie Club
product, and testimonials for this terrific tutorial pour in
every day. Don't let ignorance of your keyboard stifle your
creativity and steal away your time. When you discover how
much you can really achieve with that humble beige tray of keys, you'll be astounded - or your money back! Click to and prepare yourself for a
MAJOR revelation! Hey, it's ONLY $9.95!

4. Joe's Geek-Speak Ad of the Week

--------- SoundHack

"SoundHack is invaluable to computer musicians, sound effects
designers, multimedia artists, and webmasters. Time stretching
or pitch shifting with the phase vocoder or varispeed. Plus
Spatialize with the binaural filter."

Now you know why some Rock Guitarists have such a pained
expression on their faces when they're performing. Talk about
suffering for your art!

5. Linda's Office Corner. Removing >> from Email

As I promised, here's how to remove those pesky little guys
after you've moved the email into Word following my directions
in last week's tip: (it's the last
issue on the list if you want to review the tip)...

Open the email in Word and go to your Edit menu at the top of
your screen and select "Replace".

In the "Find and Replace" Window that comes up, you will see a
box that says "Find What:". Click your cursor in this box and
type ">" (without the quotes). Leave the box that says "Replace with:" empty because we don't want to replace it with anything. Then click on the button that says "Replace All".

Word will pop up a box telling you how many replacements it made. Click on OK and Bam! Those babies are gone!

If you also have these markers pointing in the opposite
direction ("<"), just replace the character in the "Find What:"
box with "<" and hit "Replace All" again. You can use this tip
to find and replace most anything. Try it. It's actually fun!

Hang in there,


Linda Johnson is an MS Office personal tutor, and also has a
terrific Website at


The Registry Revealed is the Registry Understood...

It's the ultimate guide for the not-so-newbie, that will get your
PC up to the very peak of condition. 'Registry For Newbies' is
our Newbie-Speak ebook that covers all the Techie stuff you need to know to really boost your knowledge of your PC - and your performance. Details here ...


FREE Newbie Club Courses - by email. Just send a blank email for the course you need. It's delivered every few days to your
desktop - automatically! (AOL users must remove the "mailto:"
part of the address.)

Backing up your stuff:

Organize your files:

10 PC tips:

Finding files:

Take the load off your PC:

See how easy it is to get info to people? Get your own FREE
autoresponders at


Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet?

"Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 18 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

"Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins' Classic, (currently being sold at
Amazon for $11.96) plus observations and Copywriting Tutorials by Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson, who is also co-author of the blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell" with Ken Evoy. Details at

Get both Newbie Club books FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at


Want to start an Internet Business, but don't have a product to
sell? Become a Newbie Club Affiliate. It's widely regarded as one
of the most professionally run programs on the Net. You'll get
LOTS of support and help, have access to the private Affiliate
Clubroom - and it's FREE!
Details here ...


Your life improves when you learn something new. And I'm glad to be a part of that genuinely wonderful experience. 

I'll chat with you again soon.

Happy surfin',


6. Administrivia

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Back issues of the INSIDER are found here...

... and permission granted to forward this email to someone you
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The TNC INSIDER is a production of The Newbie Club(TM) and is
owned by Roglan International, whose partners are
Tom Glander and
Joe Robson

(C) 2001 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

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