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Newsletter Archive

Issue 24

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 24 March 18, 2001

Written by Tom Glander,
and Joe Robson,

Your subscribed address: "{emailaddress}"


Did you know that the highly acclaimed Newbie Club eBook
'Windows for Newbies' is now available on CD? And you also
get the Download version too. What a fantastic gift for
someone struggling to get to grips with his or her new PC. Read
all about this widely publicized groundbreaking PC learning
system here...


<< MENU >>

+ 1. Tom's Thoughts: "Our Biological Destiny?"
+ 2. Tutorial: "Where Did My Program Go?"
+ 3. Joe's Place: "Who Wears Pink Polka Dot Pajamas Anyway?"
+ 4. Joe's Geek Ad of the Week ... "Sputnik"
+ 5. Tutorial: "How to Properly Remove Programs"
+ 6. Linda's Office .... "It's A Version Thing"
+ 7. Administrivia


1. --- Tom's Thoughts: Our Biological Destiny?

Hello {firstname},

There's only one reason for me sit down and write this letter.
I mean, why should I take time out from my busy schedule of
tanning booths and palm fronds to write this?

The answer is....

YOU. :-) So there! And of course my U.K. partner Joe Robson.
He means everything to me. Together we're writing to make
the world a better place for everyone. Hmmm, high sounding
prose, isn't it? Well, Joe has written reams and reams of copy 
in his life, and a lot of his best work is on the site at the 
Newbie Club. Haven't been there in some time? Have another look:

I read a book by a guy named Harley Hahn. He's a geeky guy who's
passionate about this marvelous communication device known as
the Internet. I'm going to quote his words, because the nicely
sum up my own thoughts about all of this Internet business:

"I want you to understand the Internet: what is does, how it
works, and WHY it is so important to us. And, above all, I want
you to enjoy using the Internet, secure in the knowledge that
you know what you are doing, that you understand what is going
on, and that you BELONG."

Harley goes on to say that becoming part of the Internet is our
biological destiny. That's an incredible thought. And the more I
think about it, the more I begin to see there's an element of
truth there. We are people who need to communicate. We need to
express ourselves. What better method than the Internet?

True, it will never replace face to face communication. But the
power of the written word is supreme. It shapes our lives. The
very words you're reading now are causing thoughts to zoom
through your mind. (I hope they're good!) And the thoughts we
think determine our actions.

I hope you'll take action of your own, and decide to learn all
you can about this new, dynamic, and even life changing marvel
we call the Internet. I'm dedicating my life to the Net, and
invite you to join me as you have time and energy. I'm going
to show you how to use the Internet with elegance and style.
I'll try to show you how this all works together, and in the
days and months ahead, you'll find this all a lot more exciting
and wonderful than you ever dreamed.

I promise!

Take care,


Geek-Speak Buster: Connected

This is a great word. You dial up your Internet Service
Provider using your computer's modem, and soon, you're
connected to the Internet. You've established a connection
that hooks you into the global conscience. You now have the
ability to make your mark on the world. And if you have a
cable connection, you're connected all the time! No need
to dial anything buy your phone. (Hey, we don't even dial
those things anymore. We "punch" their buttons.)

------ How to build your own Website in 2 days or less.

The Newbie Club has brought together 4 individual authors -
including a Newbie - to create the very first Newbie-Speak
publication of it's kind. The Newbie Club First Website Builder
shows you how to create, write, present, backup, promote and
publish your First Website. And all accomplished with FREE
programs, and graphics. This groundbreaking 4 volume
publication makes Website ownership a reality for ALL NEWBIES.
And about time too. Free trial at

2. Understanding Downloading

I speak to many people by telephone about The Newbie Club and
our products and service. I'm asked over and over again if we
have "real books" and the answer is always the same. Nope. Sorry,
I wish we did but we don't. But do I really wish we did? I don't
think so.

You see, the power to download is the power to obtain
information. We're all hungry for information about our world.
And the Net is the place to get it. It's been called the fountain
of all knowledge. The oracle, if you will.

So, one of the things we need to be VERY comfortable with is
getting stuff that's "out there" onto our home computer "right

When you download, you should always save the stuff on your hard
drive. At least initially. When I say "save" I mean that's where
you download TO. Don't try to download anything to a floppy
disk. It might seem like it's downloading okay, but most of the
programs and such that are out there will need to be operated
from your hard drive. That's the whirly thing inside your
computer that's like a big magnetic tape that records

There's nothing to be afraid of when you download. The only thing
that goes wrong (frequently) is that can't find the stuff you
just downloaded. Where did it go? There's a window called the
'Save As' window. You can use it tell your computer where to
put the download. That 'Save As' window is the master filer,
the absolute boss over where stuff gets put.

So pay close attention to this little window next time you
download anything. It's your key to success. Review the download
tutorial at The Newbie Club. It uses pictures to explain this

3. Joe's Place; "Who Wears Pink Polka Dot Pajamas Anyway?

Hi {firstname}. Been spammed lately? Stoopid question.

I read an article the other day about the downturn in advertising
on the Internet. Could've fooled me. I get more and more in my
email box every day. Still, that's not advertising - it's stoopid,
stoopid, stoopid spam. Did I mention that it's stoopid?

I received one from a US Politician (or from his stoopid
staff) asking for my vote! In the first place I didn't know him
from Adam, and in the second place I couldn't vote for him
because I live in the UK!

Are ALL US politicians that stoopid? Ok that's a stoopid
question. Don't email me please!

I'm pleased to say that JL Scott of The International Council
of Online Professionals ( ) protested about
this illegal practice and it stopped. Powerful butt kicker is JL!

But the practice I am really sickened by is the obvious spam like

----------- "Go Broke Quick!"

"Do the same as me, and spam victims like you with stupid adverts
like this. Buy the same CD as I did (from me of course) which
contains 10 million email addresses of people like you who will
never ever in their lives buy anything from a stupid and
misguided person like me.

Yes I know that you know that I know, that most people know that
knowing it doesn't work, still won't stop other stoopid people
from buying the same CD from stupid people like me. Even in the
knowledge that knowledge of the stupidity of this stoopid practice
by people in the know, some people will still be as stupid as I was
when I fell for this 'get rich quick' scheme.

Even though I know that knowledgeable people have enough
knowledge of this stupid product to avoid it like the plague, I
am stupid enough to hope that you may be the only one out of 10
million who doesn't know that it's stoopid to buy this CD from
me and start spamming the same 10 million knowledgeable people,
with the identical stupid advert that I'm spamming you with right

Please email your Credit Card details for $9.97 to secure your
CD to and you will also
receive a free killer report "How to make $3717.77 a day for a
$9.97 investment - in your stoopid pink polka dot pajamas.


--From a friend."

Now let me make one thing very, very, clear. If you've already
fallen for this con, I'm not really calling you stupid. The
perpetrators deliberately target Newbies, because so many people
believe that making money on the Internet is as easy as sending
out 10 million emails with an ad.

They very quickly realize that it just doesn't work. The only
one's making money are the people selling the CDs and the
companies who charge hundreds of dollars to email them out for
you. And in case you didn't already know, your present ISP will
not allow you send out vast quantities of emails for free.

They're more likely to close you down for spamming.

So if you're ever tempted to try to make money this way ...

Spend $29.95 on 'First Website Builder', and build yourself a Website
instead. Then learn from the pros who are already successful.

Study from the thousands of articles on the subject around the
Web.. Download our 2 FREE ebooks on the subject at ..

Take your time, walk before you run, learn your craft and start
small. You could start by becoming a Newbie Club Affiliate. It's free and is regarded as
one of the most professionally run programs on the Net.
Once you become an Affiliate you'll have access to some
remarkably good professionally written tutorials and
promotional materials to help you get started.

But if, like some many people, you think this is too much like
hard work, there is another way ...

Buy yourself a CD. It's only $9.97!

And when you lose your shirt on the emailing costs, whatever
you do ...

Keep smilin'


PS I mean no offence to wearers of pink polka dot pajamas. I
have some myself, but can't find matching slippers my size.


Geek-Speak Buster: Server

No, it's not the guy wearing an apron at the local
restaurant. But like the waiter, a Server does a
whole lot of delivering. A Server is a computer with
the dedicated task of delivering information. When
you type an address into your browser's address bar,
or click a link on a web page, you are requesting info
from a computer somewhere. A Server computer. A Servant.
A slave. And that's what I like about these machines. They
just keep serving non-stop, until they crash their little
brains out in a massive hard drive failure. Or something
less dramatic.


------ Finally. A Totally Newbie-Friendly Unzipper!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!


------------ It's Not Just Amazing .... It's MAGIC!

In the 4 weeks since it was released, our latest eBooklet,
'Keyboard MAGIC!' has now outsold every other Newbie Club
product, and testimonials for this terrific tutorial pour in
every day. Don't let ignorance of your keyboard stifle your
creativity and steal away your time. When you discover how
much you can really achieve with that humble beige tray of
keys, you'll be astounded - or your money back! Click to and prepare yourself for a
MAJOR revelation! Hey, it's ONLY $9.95!

4. Joe's Geek-Speak Ad of the Week

---------- Sputnik Image viewer 2.40

"Allows you to view DXF, EMF, JPEG and TIF files as a mixed
(raster/vector hybrid) graphics"

Interesting. Wonder if it will display my snap shots? So I
visited the site for a better explanation, and was relieved to
discovered that it's a ...

"Simple viewer for DXF, EMF, JPG and TIF files as a raster/vector

Hmmmm. Glad it's simple! But I think I'll stick to my photo
album. At least until I get some raster/vector hybrid overlays.

5. How to Properly Remove Programs

How to properly remove programs from your computer:

Windows 95 (and 98) has added a little program that helps you
delete applications safely and CORRECTLY. Why correctly?
Because a lot of new software leaves entries in the Registry,
and unless you uninstall your programs, the excess code gets
left behind. Not so tidy. So when you want to delete an
application, follow these steps:

1. Click Start.
2. Choose Settings + Control Panel.
3. In the Control Panel window, double-click the Add/Remove
Programs icon.
4. Under "The following software can be automatically removed
by Windows..." select the application you want to remove.
5. Click Add/Remove and follow the instructions to remove the
application. It will show you dialog boxes to assist you in the

When you remove programs, you may be asked if you want to
remove files called "DLLs". That's an acronym for Dynamic Linked
Library file. These are shared by other programs. If you want to be
real safe, just answer "No" to the question. Everything but the
files in question will be removed. (Everything related to the
program you're uninstalling, of course.)

This is all very geeky, really. But the time may come when you
need to uninstall something. So use this. Don't just delete the
files that make up programs randomly.


----------- Bill Gates Never Taught It This Way...

If he had, then everyone with Microsoft Word would be an expert.
Linda Johnson is a terrific Personal Tutor of Microsoft Word and
we have persuaded her to write down her knowledge in a series of
'Bite-Sized' eBooklets - 'MS Word MAGIC!'. The first was released
last week and it's called 'Fonts, Fun and Formats'. Learning
techie stuff was never so entertaining and FUN. Get your first
helping now of this wonderful tutorial of the Worlds Favorite
Program for ONLY $9.95 at
it's beautiful!

6. Linda's Office Corner: It's a Version Thing

More on Find and Replace:

Thanks to all who sent me the nice letters of appreciation!! 
I also received a lot of responses to my suggestion of using 
Word's Find and Replace feature to remove the ">'s" from email.
Many people suggested freeware programs that they use which are

There is a nice little program which does this easily called 
eCleaner and you can download it from:

There is also a website where you can run a similar program 
directly off the internet without having to download any software.
You can check this out at:

But, since it's my "job" to teach you guys and gals about MS 
Office programs, I'm going to stick with that in this little 
corner of mine. Besides, why use a separate little program for
every little task when you can use one big program for all of 
your tasks? Word's Find and Replace can do a LOT more than 
just remove ">'s". Try this...

Type this sentence: "I once owned a cat named Catzy who chased 
Mrs. Catz's cats." Now go to the Edit menu and put the word "cat" 
in the Find box and put "dog" in the Replace With box. Click on 
'Replace All' and you will see Word not only replaced all the 
cats with dogs, but also capitalized the D's when they replaced 
capital C's. Word is a smart program indeed and finding the ">'s"
is only the tip of the iceberg for Word's Find and Replace feature.

Hang in there!


Linda Johnson is an MS Office personal tutor, and also has a
terrific Website at which
she's been making even more readable than ever. Check it out!


So you're not such a Newbie after all? Curious about the
database that makes Windows act the way it does? Then this
ebook will give you a quick, easy understanding of what's
going on inside. It's called 'The Registry For Newbies' and
you can read all about it here
See Techie-Speak translated into Newbie-Speak by an expert!


FREE Newbie Club Courses - by email. Just send a blank email
for the course you need. It's delivered every few days to your
desktop - automatically! (AOL users must remove the "mailto:"
part of the address, and type the address into your email
client's send to line. Life with AOL is tough!)

Backing up your stuff:

Organize your files:

10 PC tips:

Finding files:

Take the load off your PC:

See how easy it is to get info to people? Get your own FREE
autoresponders at


Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet?

"Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 18 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

"Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins' Classic, (currently being sold at
Amazon for $11.96) plus observations and Copywriting Tutorials
Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson, who is also co-author of the
blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell" with Ken Evoy. Details at

Get both Newbie Club books FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at


Want to start an Internet Business, but don't have a product to
sell? Become a Newbie Club Affiliate. It's widely regarded as
one of the most professionally run programs on the Net. You'll get
LOTS of support and help, have access to the private Affiliate
Clubroom - and it's FREE!
Details here ...


Your life improves when you learn something new, IF you put
the knowledge into practice. I'm glad to be a part of that 
genuinely wonderful experience. Is the Net part of your 
biological destiny? Will you become "one with the Web?"

I'll chat with you again soon.

All the best,


6. Administrivia

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Back issues of the INSIDER are found here...

... and permission granted to forward this email to someone you
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The TNC INSIDER is a production of The Newbie Club(TM) and is
owned by Roglan International LLC, whose partners are
Tom Glander and
Joe Robson

(C) 2001 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

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