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Newsletter Archive

Issue 3


----- The Newbie Club INSIDER Issue 3 September 21, 2000

You received this Newsletter because you ...

a) Subscribed at The Newbie Club Website
b) Were a previous subscriber to The Newbie News
c) Are an Affiliate of The Newbie Club(TM)
d) This may have been forwarded to you by a friend. (If you want to subscribe, please see the end of this letter.)

Subscribe and unsubscribe information is at the end.
This is a personalized publication. If it does not address
you by name, please see information at the end to make 
changes.

Written by Tom Glander, mailto:tg@newbieclub.com
==========================================

<< MENU >>

1. Tom's Thoughts
2. Killing Your PC Again? Aren't You Ashamed?
3. I'm Going On a Spam Hunt - Want to Join Me?
4. Tutorial: "Find Your Home on the Range"
5. Joe's Flipped Out. Anyone Seen Joe?
6. Exploding the Virus Myth/Hoax
7. We Crave Your Feedback


_______________________________________

1. Tom's Thoughts
_______________________________________


Hello {firstname}! 

Joe's gone mad. Absolutely stark raving crazy. I'm ready
to call the men in the little white coats to come and take
him away. 

He's got the download fever, and it's not just "burning at
a hundred and three." He's certifiable. A real maniac. 

And it's all because he's been hanging around The Newbie
Club. Too much of that and you start to really make your 
computer do what it's supposed to - work like the slave it
really is! 

Read Joe's blazing take down of the techie-menace. It's in
item number five below. 

Meantime, I'm on the phone answering questions about 
Windows for Newbies. Yes, it's an ebook. Yes, you can get
it immediately. Yes, it's totally picture driven. "Good.
Because that's the only way I learn!" Well then, you're in
the right place. Just visit The Newbie Club and help
yourself to your own copy! http://newbieclub.com/wfncopy/

When something works, it's easy to get excited, share the
news with others, and sound like you've had six too many 
cups of coffee in a row. Excuse the belch. My manners aren't showing! Unless you're old world, that is. 

Stay tuned to the INSIDER. A new Newbie product, expected out in three to four weeks will be the first of its kind on the Net.

Guaranteed!


_______________________________________

2. You're Killing Your Computer And Don't Even Know It!
_______________________________________


Your PC is strung out. And it's not on coffee. You're 
taxing it beyond its capacity, and don't even know it. 

Oh yea? How do you know?

The problem is with the major issue facing all Windows 
systems in the 95/98 class. Your system resources are being eaten up, your memory is dribbling away, and the next program you launch will crash your system. 

It's just a fact of life. What can you do to fix it? Easy.
System Resource Meter to the rescue!

Take the path the meter: Start>Programs>Accessories>
System Tools>Resource Meter. It'll open with a message
and a bouquet of flowers. Take the flowers and dismiss
the message boy. We're after the real stuff.

The meter tells you three things: The amount of System 
resources, User resources, and GDI resources you've got
to work with. It'll minimize itself to the system tray
(next to the clock and yellow speaker icon in the lower
right corner of your screen). Double click the green
bars and the main screen pops up.

Here's the key, without getting all techie-fied on you.
You can let your resources run down to about 25%. At that point, you'd best start thinking about shutting down a 
program or three. 'Cause if you're down to 25%, I can
guarantee you're running a mess of programs, and all at
the same time.

Either that, or your computer is totally lame, and should
be used as a boat anchor. 

You can leave the meter running, and monitor the green 
bars. When they turn red, you guessed it. Time to close
a few windows! 

Your PC will crash itself when it runs low on resources, 
regardless of the amount of RAM you have installed. Stuff
like your screen losing bits and pieces, not rewriting
itself, running real slow, or just locking up tighter 
than an OPEC board meeting. 

Check your resources!




_______________________________________

3. Don't Fall Into the Spam Trap
_______________________________________


When I started this Internet business years ago I thought,
hey, I'll get one of those cool programs that collects
email addresses from web sites.

It's a robot. It does an amazingly good job. It collects
lots of email addresses! What a time saver and list 
builder, too. Pure gold.

I thought, sure, I'll just write letters to everyone on 
my new list. Won't they be glad to hear from me!

Maybe you're reading between the lines. I sure hope so.

'Cause it just doesn't work. Your unsolicited email is just
spam. It may appear as a pretty picture to you, but on the
inside it's rotten. Spam doesn't work. And neither do the
sorry cretans that use it! 

I get more junk email than a human should be required
to receive. Won't the postmaster please stop it? Won't
somebody put an end to it?

"Sorry, pal. Not today. Not tomorrow." Never. So please,
don't fall for those super deals on a CD-ROM with a 
million email addresses. All the promises of instant
wealth and people lined up to buy your product are pure
baloney sandwich material. 





_________________________________________________

4. Tutorial-- Find Your Home On The Range
_________________________________________________


If your memory serves you as well as mine, you can recall
that the way to find lost files is with the Find applet
included with Windows. 

What's an applet?

It's a little program. It's the little engine that could. 
And there are oodles of these little programs in Windows!

Now, here's an improved method to find files using the 
standard Start>Find>Files or Folders... routine.

Let's say you downloaded an MP3 named "Home on the Range." How would you find it? What do you do with the spaces? Easy. Just stick a question mark wherever there's a space.

If you leave out the question mark, and search for "home
on the range" you'll get every last instance of home,
on, the, and range. As well as additional words that 
include the letters "on" such as "question." 

Do it like this:

"home?on?the?range" (without the quotes).

And you've got your file! No messing about searching the
undergrowth or the bush country for the missing sounds.
And that's music to my ears.

What's that I hear? Joe, is that you? You want to talk now?

Ok, shout a bit about your latest discovery. You've got the 
floor!


_______________________________________

5. A Word from Joe (What do mean, who's Joe? Joe Robson - Tom's technologically challenged partner, that's who.)
_______________________________________


Hey {firstname}! I solved a major mystery this week. And I 
did it on my own! And I only had 37 cups of coffee!

Who needs the Techies!

The last two Downloads I made were directed to my Desktop. 

And guess what? Yeah, they never appeared. I searched 
through everyone of the little logo shortcuts on my Desktop one by one ...

Zilch. Not there. Kaput!

I checked in Microsoft Explorer and my desktop folder, and 
there they were trying to hide from me. Went back to Tom's Downloading tutorial and checked I'd done everything right.

So I created another desktop shortcut for each. Still 
nuthin! So like any other normal Technology-hater, I cursed Bill Gates and gave up!

Because my desktop was full of stuff I no longer wanted I 
decided to spring clean. Heck, I came across stuff I'd never even looked at. Must have seemed a good idea at the time I downloaded them.

Click. Click. Click, and out they went. And guess what?

My Desktop screen had been so full of unwanted 'stuff' 
there'd been no room for the recent ones.... So up they 
popped onto my screen with happy smiles on their faces.
Two shortcuts for each!

Voila! - That's French for 'How did that happen?'

Hey, maybe I'm not so dumb after all!

The trouble is that when I clicked on those happy faces I 
couldn't remember why I'd downloaded them in the first place.

Like I said... It must have seemed like a good idea at the 
time!

So if your next download refuses to appear on your Desktop, check to see if there's enough room. And if it's still hiding from you, go through Tom's Downloading Tutorial at http://newbieclub.com/tutorials

Of course, if you owned 'Windows For Newbies' you wouldn't have that problem. How do you think I solved it? (OK I lied!)

Like I said ... Maybe I'm not so dumb after all!

Read the Stunning Independent Reviews of this Revolutionary Learning System here: http://www.newbieclub.com/wfncopy

Excuse me, I have some Downloading to do. Techies - who 
needs 'em?

Keep smilin' {firstname}, and whatever you do ....

Don't let the Techies get you down!

Joe



_______________________________________

6. Exploding The Virus Myth/Hoax
_______________________________________


"Hackers will infect your PC with a virus 45 minutes after 
you read an email with your eyeballs. But wait! You can 
avoid destruction if you forward their email to ten 
friends. But you gotta do it within 45 minutes -- and you
gotta send it to your ten best friends..."

Do you ever wonder if a Virus has snuck up and is about 
to do evil deeds inside your PC?

You probably faithfully download the latest virus scanning 
updates, right? And scrub the bowels of your PC clean?

The virus hunters tell us over 200 new viruses are created
every month. Or is it 2,000? And can you catch a virus
from a cookie? Will your PC self destruct if you don't 
follow the Commander's Warning?!

If you don't know the answers to the questions, or feel
the need for greater understanding, I suggest you visit
the site that rocks the virus world. Some great reading.

"Forget 'millions' or 'billions.' Worldwide damages from 
viruses & hacking now rival the yearly U.S. federal budget
-- if you believe the fear mongers."

This site has archives going back for years. Also links
to Urban myths, hoaxes, old wives's tales and more. Use 
your eyeballs **and** your brain here: 
http://www.vmyths.com/


_______________________________________

7. We Crave Your Feedback
_______________________________________


Use the Forum. It's your message board, and your questions
and comments are superb. Absolutely magnificent. 

Click to the The Newbie Club and use the dazzling green
buttons to make your way into the discussion room known as The Forum (yea, creativity is really shining from this part of the globe tonight!) Or just use this handy link and 
visit now...

http://newbieclub.com/forum.html

Hey, do you know a bit about PCs and their operation? Why not help everyone out and answer some questions. You can do it at the Forum. 

No membership required, regardless of what the instructions may say. 

_______________________________________



Well, there's the third issue. And of course I want you to
write back, 'cause I want to know what you think. You can 
send a one liner if you want. And remember, this techie 
stuff is like, totally excellent stuff. Just as long as
we understand what the heck we're talking about! 

Warm regards,

Tom



_______________________________________

Administration
_______________________________________

{firstname}, you subscribed with this email address:

"{emailaddress}"

To change your subscription details, to subscribe, or
unsubscribe, please visit the subscription management page
at The Newbie Club:

http://newbieclub.com/subscription_management.htm

NOTE: If you see "firstname" instead of your name, it's
because you were a subscriber to the Newbie News and have not yet given us your first name. So what are you waiting for? Use the link above to add it, or send me the details by email. Thanks! mailto:tg@newbieclub.com

I'll include the above for a couple more issues, then it's
toast. Burnt toast! And I mean REALLY stinky burnt toast.

Do me a favor and forward this email to someone you know. Don't spam anyone with it! That would make me want to curl up inside my monitor and wish I were an electron. Or burnt toast.

Archives of the INSIDER are found here...
http://newbieclub.com/newsletter_archive.html


===========================================
The TNC Insider is a production of The Newbie Club (TM)
and is owned by Roglan International, who's partners are
Tom Glander and Joe Robson.
===========================================

(C) 2000 The Newbie Club

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