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Newsletter Archive

Issue 56

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 56 Dec 6, 2001

Written by Tom Glander,
and Joe Robson.

You receive the INSIDER as a benefit of membership in
The Newbie Club. Your membership details are at the end
of this newsletter. 
Please **Do not Reply** to this email. Write to us at

--------- "How To Spread Happiness At Christmas!"

Suffering from PC Rage? This Newbie Club series of 52
picture-driven tutorials will eliminate *your* frustration, and
help a friend or relative at the same time. See why someone once
said it should be included in every new PC sold.


<< MENU >>

==> 1. Tom's Thoughts ... "In Love With Cardboard"
==> 2. Tutorial ... "You Can Change Your ISP"
==> 3. Joe's Place ... "Free Doesn't Mean It's Useless"
==> 4. Tutorial ... "What's Inside Your Computer?"
==> 5. Linda's Office ... "Word Tables of Contents"
==> 6. Administration ... "Stuff about your account"


Comments, Comments, Comments

A note from the Guestbook


==> 1. Tom's Thoughts: "In Love With Cardboard"


Hello %name%,

I'm going to try and write a short newsletter. Brief, to the
point, maybe even on the punchy side.

"Can't be done" you say. At least, I've never done it in the

Since you hang on every word I write, and are keeping track of
my whereabouts (it's good to know you care), here's the plan:

Pack another cardboard box.

Yup, it's easy. Just unfold the box from last year, shove the
flaps in on the bottom, apply tape, turn it over and fill it
up. Easy. About as easy as operating your computer, right?

Then do another. And another. Until the room is full of 
cardboard boxes. Full of stuff. Full of the memories of
your life. 

See, you can be in love with cardboard, too. Just like me. 
After all, that's what packing boxes are made of. And since 
they contain all of your treasures, of course you'll be in
love with them. 

After they're all packed, load them on a truck. Then drive
that truck 2,300 miles to a new home. Unload, and you're

That's me come Sunday, December 9. Truck full of cardboard
boxes heading for California. 

I think I'm in love.

I'll write to you again along the way. It'll take a week, and
we're doing the famous Route 66. Honk if you see a Ryder
truck pulling a gold Dodge Intrepid on a trailer along that
route. At the top of your lungs, scream, "I love cardboard!"
and I'll know your a Newbie Club Member. It'll be wonderful.

Are you in love, too?

All the best,



Geek-Speak Busters:

A. "Cardboard"

Heavy weight paper, generally corrugated for strength, glued
together to form a box for packing or shipping stuff to some
location other than the one you're currently at. Plastic
peanuts or bubble wrap are generally used to protect the 
stuff inside if it needs protection. Otherwise, old newspaper,
wadded up into balls, is a general protectant.

B. "Glue"

This is an adhesive one should stay away from unless they are
making cardboard boxes. Never use glue on your computer. And
never use glue when you can use duct tape. The temptation to
sniff is reduced, as well, so the health hazards are minimized.



The Newbie Club Website Builder was written in Newbie-Speak by 4
people, to create a stunning 4 volume collection that blows away
the myths forever. Now you can create, write, design, automate,
upload and promote your very own individual Website! All with
FREE programs, pictures and graphics. See for
yourself and prepare yourself for a revelation. WOW what a
blockbuster! Visit for your FREE


==> 2. Tutorial: "How to Find a New ISP"


Are you pleased with your current Internet Service Provider?
Paying about $19.95 each month just to get online? Maybe you
have found a free service that lets you connect for nothing?


If you're not happy with your present company, you can 
easily look up a new one from the web site that specializes
in providing this information. Just point your browser to:

No need to stay with AOL, or anyone else for that matter, if
they don't make you happy. I've used Prodigy for my dial up
connection, and they work good. They just let you connect,
then surf wherever whenever however you want. Not to influence
you or anything... just some insight. 

Look for flexible pricing plans, based on the amount of time
you use the Internet. They're out there, and may save you


------ Don't be Shy - Unzip with Confidence!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!

This is a stunner!


3. Joe's Place ... "Because It's Free Doesn't Mean It's Useless"


Hi %name%.

Hey, when was the last time you visited the Newbie Club Website?

Yesterday? Last week? Last year? Maybe you haven't been there
since your first visit. If so I quite understand, because many
of us do the same. We discover a site that interests us,
subscribe to the newsletter and .... never go back!

You see, Tom and I have created a problem of our own making. Our
goal was to build a Website with an abundance of free help and
information, that is of true value to Newbies the world over.
And that also presents a problem...

Because it's human nature to regard something for free as having
little value. But if we pay for something, we make darned sure
we try it out. For instance, how many free ebooks have you
downloaded, yet never got around to reading them? But ...

If you PAY for an ebook, you can bet your bottom dollar that it
gets read almost immediately!

I have a feeling that the same human attitude exists toward the
Newbie Club Membership - it's free so why not join? But there's
so much 'stuff' on the site that it will take hours to get
through it all. So after a quick look around, off you go surfing
somewhere else.

%name% I'll tell you this. If you haven't *fully* explored the
whole of the site you're missing out - big time. It's not for
nothing we often repeat the testimonial written about us ... "The Best Newbie Site On The Web".

So if you haven't visited for a while, do yourself a big favor
and visit now. This newsletter can wait 'till later.

Last week my wife and I got back from our house-hunting trip in
Spain, and we're still recovering from the culture shock. Of
course it's a very civilized and cultured country, but the
social attitudes are reminiscent of England when I was but a wee
boy. Friendly, sociable, laid back, and an absence of the rush,
rush, rush of the hectic English lifestyle. We love it. And now
we know why our friends out there *still* love it after a dozen
or so years.

Soon ....

Talking about lifestyle, TNC has grown so substantially over the
past year that we're finding it increasingly difficult and time
consuming to answer every email we get from members. One of the
things that makes us so successful is our friendly and helpful
attitude toward members. But keeping it friendly takes an
enormous amount of time. If we're not careful the fun will have
disappeared, and it will become 'just another job'. And there's
not much point in that. So ...

If you need help with a technical problem, please use the Newbie
Club Forum at
Or the Newbie Club Clinic at

You can also search through the back issues of this Newsletter
and read the gazillions of tutorials written by Tom. They're at

And of course there's a multitude of tutorials, articles, and
free ebooks available for your further edification.

So if you write to us with a question and don't receive an
answer, please don't take it personal - it's just that we're
human like everyone else!

Hey, Christmas is nearly upon us and I'll bet you're pulling
your hair out looking for those 'different' presents!

Well just consider one of these goodies ...

Membership of the Newbie Club Clinic - so your friend will never
be left struggling with a sick PC ...

'First Website Builder' ... will help *any* Newbie to build,
write, upload and promote their very own Website ...

And for those receiving their first Digital camera, 'Digicam
Magic' will save them hours - even weeks - of hair-pulling
frustration when trying to get to grips with it ...

Aw heck, I'll be here all day plugging the abundance of unusual,
but extremely useful gifts you can give from the Newbie Club
selection. Have a look yourself by clicking on the one you think
most appropriate at the top of this page ...

Well that's it %name%. All done and dusted for another week. So
whatever you do, please remember the Latin phrase ...

Nil Techialis carborundem ... Don't let the Techies grind you
down :-)

Keep smilin',


PS While you're looking for a Christmas gift at go treat yourself to a gift for yourself.
Heck, they cost next to nothing!

----------- "Take a Look at Your Keyboard Right NOW!"

Just look at all those keys! Go on, take a look. I'll guarantee
you've often wondered WHY there are so many - F1, Insert, Tab,
Ctrl, Pr Scr, End, Home, Alt, Pause, PgUp, Shift, Sys Rq, and
the rest. Why? And what about all those keys with the funny
looking characters like ~ # > ¬ \ ^ ? Sheesh, surely someone put
them there for a reason! And yet you NEVER use them. 'Keyboard
MAGIC!' by The Newbie Club, outsold all their other products in
the first 5 days of release. Find out why, and brace yourself
for an eye-opener at


==> 4. Tutorial: "What's Inside Your Computer?"


If you need to know, for any reason whatsoever, you can
find out every detail about the insides of your computer
by putting Doctor Watson to work. At least on Windows 98
you can!

From the Start menu, click Run. In the Run dialog box,
type "drwatson" without the quote marks. Then click OK
or press Enter.

You won't see anything happen! That's a very important
point. But if you observe closely, you'll see a new icon
appear in the system tray (next to the clock). It's the
Dr. Watson icon!

Right click the new icon and choose the first line item,
'Dr. Watson.' A system "snapshot" is taken. A report will
appear on your screen, saying "you've got a real mess on
your hands" or "everything's fine." Something like that,

So what is Dr. Watson good for? A few things. If you've
got problems, he'll diagnose them. He won't fix them,
however, unlike a real doctor. If you need a doc, you can
use the services of the Clinic doc. Learn more here:

Leave Watson running, do your thing, then check back for
an updated report. If stuff is still working right, you'll 
get the same "everything's fine" report. If not, you'll
know that, too.


==> 5. Linda's Office: "Word Tables of Contents"


NOTE: These tips apply to Microsoft Office products, such as
Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc. Not to Microsoft Works products.

Tables of Contents in Word are one of the more commonly 
misunderstood features. To understand them, you must first 
understand Heading Styles, because Tables of Contents are 
produced from Heading Styles. If you are trying to add a 
Table of Contents to an existing document that does not use 
Heading Styles, you must go through the entire document and 
add them manually. However, if you add them as you produce 
the document in the beginning, the Table of Contents will be
a snap to produce.  

Try this. Open a blank new document and go to the Style box 
at the left end of your Formatting toolbar (the toolbar that 
includes your bold, italic, and underline buttons). The Style
box, by default, should say Normal. Click on the dropdown
arrow at the right end of the box and choose Heading 1, 
then type a word or two.

Hit the Enter key on your keyboard and go back to the Style
box. This time choose Heading 2 and type another word or
two. Now, hit Enter again and go to the Insert menu and 
choose Break. When this box comes up, make sure Page Break
is selected and click OK. 

You should now be at the top of Page 2. Choose Header 1 again
from the Style box and type a word or two. Hit Enter and add
another Heading 2 entry, then hit enter and add a Heading 3
entry.  Now, hold your Control key down and hit your Home key 
to move you back to the very top of your document and go to the 
Insert menu and choose Index and Tables. Click on the tab at
the top that says Table of Contents, accept the default 
settings and click OK.  

How’s THAT for easy?  

Hang in there!


Tutorials by MS Office expert Linda Johnson. Her site is
located here:

View Linda's tips on-line at


So you're not such a Newbie after all? Like to know what makes
Windows act the way it does? Then this ebook will give you a
quick, easy understanding of your PC's Brain. It's called 'The
Registry For Newbies' and you can read all about it here...

See Techie-Speak translated into Newbie-Speak by an expert!


Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet?


"Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 18 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

"Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins' Classic, (currently being sold at
Amazon for $11.96) plus observations and Copywriting Tutorials
by Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson, who is also co-author of
the blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell" with Ken Evoy. Details

Get both Newbie Club books FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at

And don't forget, you can get your own Fully Customizable
Guestbook for your site absolutely FREE. This Newbie Club
creation is so packed with too many features to list here. And
it's an absolute dream to install - no experience needed!


Email courses and articles are available. Just send a blank
email (no message needed, just the address is all) to any of the

Course: Backing up your files:

Course: Getting organized:

Course: Finding files anywhere on your PC:

Course: Configuring your startup programs:


5. Administration


Subscription details:

To make changes to your membership details, such as updating
your name or email address, or unsubscribing (huh?), visit your
membership management headquarters...

Click==> and check on
your details now! You should see your info listed as ...

Name: %name%
Address: %email%

You can cancel your membership, change your name, update your
email address and more.

Back issues of the INSIDER are found here...

The TNC INSIDER is a publication of The Newbie Club and is
owned by Roglan International LLC, whose partners are
Tom Glander (US) and Joe Robson (UK).

(C) 2001 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

Computer problems are solved daily at the Newbie Club Clinic.
If you haven't checked in for a visit, you owe it to you and
your computer's health. It's excellent insurance! <==Visit Now!

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