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Newsletter Archive

Issue 58

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 58 Dec 27, 2001

Written by Tom Glander,
and Joe Robson.

You receive the INSIDER as a benefit of membership in
The Newbie Club. Your membership details are at the end
of this newsletter. 
Please **Do not Reply** to this email. Write to us at

--------- "How To Spread Happiness Any Time!"

Suffering from PC Rage? This Newbie Club series of 52
picture-driven tutorials will eliminate *your* frustration, and
help a friend or relative at the same time. See why someone once
said it should be included in every new PC sold.


<< MENU >>

==> 1. Tom's Thoughts ... "Things Are Gonna Be Okay"
==> 2. Tutorial ... "Adding Shortcuts to the Start Menu"
==> 3. Tutorial ... "Assigning Accelerator Keys"
==> 4. Linda's Office ... "Word Tables of Contents"
==> 5. Administration ... "Stuff about your account"


Comments, Comments, Comments

From a contented Clinic user, we received the following:

"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to your whole team. 
You are amazing. I have used Windows 98 for more than two 
years and I never knew that System File Checker was even on
the machine. It worked! I finally can run my screensavers.
Thank you so much."

--Anne ( Learn more here: )

A note from the Guestbook

Darren, from Daventry, England, writes:

"Only been looking at this site for about 30 minutes and
I'm very impressed, even if you're not a newby, there's
still lots to learn. Success to all for 2002."

Need a guestbook for your site? See if ours fits your


==> 1. Tom's Thoughts: "Things Are Gonna be Okay"


Hello %name%,

After last week's solemn note, I thought I'd better lift the 
lid a little and see if there's any better stew cooking in
the pot of my brain.

Sure enough, there is. 

Mom's going to be okay... there are lots of cancer survivors, and 
she'll be one of them. We're just going to hunker down and take
on the bad guys one day at a time. Your prayers on Mom's behalf
are appreciated and desired.

Mom didn't want anyone to know about this, she says. I told her
"too late--I've already told everyone on the list about you."

She just smiled. It's good to know people care.


When I'm not working in front of the computer, I'm working as
an RN. A Registered Nerd. Um, Nurse. That just means I made it
through nursing school, passed the state boards, and know a 
bunch of stuff about making people feel better when they're

Okay, how about saving money? Do I know anything about how to
do that? 

Let's say you take meds. Doctor's ordered various pills and
concoctions for you, and you live in the United States. And
let's say you'd like to save money on your prescriptions. 
What do you do? Lots of options, to be sure, but one that I
can recommend is AmeriPlan. You can learn more about them by
visiting this link: 

Watch the videos... Morley Shaeffer on the American Medical
Review has some words to share... if you can't get through,
there's probably a traffic jam. 

Happens all the time around here.


In this issue, I'm giving a super easy tutorial, and one that's
not so easy. One for the "green newbie" and one for the newbie
who's been around the computer hard drive a few times. It'll be
fun to learn something new, as long as you don't look at it 
like you HAVE to learn. Have fun. That's the best way to take
on your computer. 

Laugh at the silly thing when it tries to make you think you're
dumb. You can always pull its plug and drop kick it right out
the window. Or use it for a boat anchor. 

Have to be a small boat. 

But all the same, you're in control, you're the boss, you call
the shots. 

All the best,



Geek-Speak Busters:

A. "Internet Traffic"

You try to bring up a web page in your browser, and it just
doesn't work. Why not? You try to download an e-book and the
same thing happens. Must be the server is slow, right? Wrong.

The Internet can be just like the freeway in Pasadena. Clogged
with "cars" (packets of information) during rush hour. When it
gets busy, the Net slows down. Sometimes to a crawl. Doesn't 
matter how fast your connection is, if there's too much traffic,
the only thing that's going to fix things is for some of the
"cars" to leave the highway. That's why downloading during
off peak times (like 4 a.m.) works better than trying to do
it after work... when everyone else is using the web. 

B. "Packet"

Data is moved around the Internet in "packets" of information.
These are like the individual boxcars that make up the train.
Each boxcar of info (the packet) has to be safely delivered
from the server to your home computer. If it's not, you have
what's called "damaged goods" in the shipping business... and
on the Web, you have "corrupted files". For a graphical look
at how the Net works, (and some scary stuff about service
being denied) read:



The Newbie Club Website Builder was written in Newbie-Speak by 4
people, to create a stunning 4 volume collection that blows away
the myths forever. Now you can create, write, design, automate,
upload and promote your very own individual Website! All with
FREE programs, pictures and graphics. See for
yourself and prepare yourself for a revelation. WOW what a
blockbuster! Visit for your FREE


==> 2. Tutorial: "Adding Shortcuts to Your Start Menu"


If you use your computer at all, you'll have some open windows
on screen. Without closing them, the Start Menu provides access
to lots of programs. But let's say you're lazy, and want a quick
click solution... create a shortcut that appears on the Start
Menu... so you don't have to chase down the program on the
Programs Menu!

Windows 98 and higher makes this real easy for you. 

Using the left mouse button, click on an icon and drag it from
the Desktop (your main screen) and hold it over the Start button
for a couple of seconds. You'll see the Start Menu open up.

Keep holding the left mouse button down, and move the icon up
to the area above the "Programs" time. You'll see a dark
"bar" appear. Slide the icon up and down, and the bar moves
up and down. Release the mouse button, and the icon that was
on the Desktop is now on the Start Menu. 

If you want the icon to be in both places, Desktop *and* Start
Menu, use the RIGHT mouse button when dragging the icon. When
you release the button, you'll have options... choose the option
to "copy here". 

If your computer is like mine, something will freeze up. My
Start Menu got stuck and wouldn't close. What a drag. I had to
reboot the computer to fix it. 

Why these things happen is unknown to human beings, but they
happen. If cars were built the same way, we'd have stop and
go traffic all the time.


------ Don't be Shy - Unzip with Confidence!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!

This is a stunner!


3. Creating Accelerator Keys for Start Menu Shortcuts


When you open the Start menu, you'll notice that the items
there have a built-in accelerator key. You don't see anything,
but if you press the first letter Programs, your cursor will
highlight the Programs item. 

If there is more than one item that begins with the letter "P"
pressing "P" again will take you to the next item on the menu.

Want to get to the Programs flyout menu fast? Just press the
Logo key, then the P. Bam! You're there. Nobody can do it that
fast with the mouse. 

Want to get to the Accessories flyout window fast? Logo key,
P, Enter. The Accessories item is at the top of the Programs
list, and is highlighted automatically for you. Hitting the
Enter key opens the Accessories item. Anything that's highlighted
will be activated by hitting the Enter key.

Okay, let's assign some Accelerators. 

Rename an item on the Start menu by right clicking the item,
then choosing "Rename" from the list. Type a number next to the
item you want to use. For example, lets say the Registry Editor
was number one on your list. Rename it to: 1. Registr Editor.

Now, to activate the Registry Editor, press the Logo key, and
then number 1. Just like that, you're there. If you want to 
hang onto the mouse, fine. Just click the Start button, then
press the number 1. 

Go down the list, numbering the items in some logical sequence.
"Logical" is a word that applies to you. If it makes sense to
you, it's logical for you. It may not be for Einstien, but hey,
he couldn't even make change. 

Once your programs are numbered, you can make a list, tape it
to your monitor, then just tap a few keystrokes and you're 

There's a bunch of stuff you can do with the keyboard... and
it's all documented in Keyboard Magic. 

----------- "Take a Look at Your Keyboard Right NOW!"

Just look at all those keys! Go on, take a look. I'll guarantee
you've often wondered WHY there are so many - F1, Insert, Tab,
Ctrl, Pr Scr, End, Home, Alt, Pause, PgUp, Shift, Sys Rq, and
the rest. Why? And what about all those keys with the funny
looking characters like ~ # > ¬ \ ^ ? Sheesh, surely someone put
them there for a reason! And yet you NEVER use them. 'Keyboard
MAGIC!' by The Newbie Club, outsold all their other products in
the first 5 days of release. Find out why, and brace yourself
for an eye-opener at


==> 4. Linda's Office: "Word Tables of Contents"


NOTE: These tips apply to Microsoft Office products, such as
Word, Excel, PowerPoint, etc. Not to Microsoft Works products.

Tables of Contents in Word are one of the more commonly 
misunderstood features. To understand them, you must first 
understand Heading Styles, because Tables of Contents are 
produced from Heading Styles. If you are trying to add a 
Table of Contents to an existing document that does not use 
Heading Styles, you must go through the entire document and 
add them manually. However, if you add them as you produce 
the document in the beginning, the Table of Contents will be
a snap to produce. 

Try this. Open a blank new document and go to the Style box 
at the left end of your Formatting toolbar (the toolbar that 
includes your bold, italic, and underline buttons). The Style
box, by default, should say Normal. Click on the dropdown
arrow at the right end of the box and choose Heading 1, 
then type a word or two.

Hit the Enter key on your keyboard and go back to the Style
box. This time choose Heading 2 and type another word or
two. Now, hit Enter again and go to the Insert menu and 
choose Break. When this box comes up, make sure Page Break
is selected and click OK. 

You should now be at the top of Page 2. Choose Header 1 again
from the Style box and type a word or two. Hit Enter and add
another Heading 2 entry, then hit enter and add a Heading 3
entry. Now, hold your Control key down and hit your Home key 
to move you back to the very top of your document and go to the 
Insert menu and choose Index and Tables. Click on the tab at
the top that says Table of Contents, accept the default 
settings and click OK. 

How’s THAT for easy? 

Hang in there!


Tutorials by MS Office expert Linda Johnson. Her site is
located here:

View Linda's tips on-line at


So you're not such a Newbie after all? Like to know what makes
Windows act the way it does? Then this ebook will give you a
quick, easy understanding of your PC's Brain. It's called 'The
Registry For Newbies' and you can read all about it here...

See Techie-Speak translated into Newbie-Speak by an expert!


Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet?


"Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 18 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

"Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins' Classic, (currently being sold at
Amazon for $11.96) plus observations and Copywriting Tutorials
by Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson, who is also co-author of
the blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell" with Ken Evoy. Details

Get both Newbie Club books FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at

And don't forget, you can get your own Fully Customizable
Guestbook for your site absolutely FREE. This Newbie Club
creation is so packed with too many features to list here. And
it's an absolute dream to install - no experience needed!


Email courses and articles are available. Just send a blank
email (no message needed, just the address is all) to any of the

Course: Backing up your files:

Course: Getting organized:

Course: Finding files anywhere on your PC:

Course: Configuring your startup programs:


5. Administration


Subscription details:

To make changes to your membership details, such as updating
your name or email address, or unsubscribing (huh?), visit your
membership management headquarters...

Click==> and check on
your details now! You should see your info listed as ...

Name: %name%
Address: %email%

You can cancel your membership, change your name, update your
email address and more.

Back issues of the INSIDER are found here...

The TNC INSIDER is a publication of The Newbie Club and is
owned by Roglan International LLC, whose partners are
Tom Glander (US) and Joe Robson (UK).

(C) 2001 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

Computer problems are solved daily at the Newbie Club Clinic.
If you haven't checked in for a visit, you owe it to you and
your computer's health. It's excellent insurance! <==Visit Now!

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