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Newsletter Archive

Issue 67

--- THE NEWBIE CLUB INSIDER Issue 67 Feb 21, 2002

Written by Tom Glander and Joe Robson.

You receive the INSIDER as a benefit of membership in
The Newbie Club. Your membership details are at the end
of this newsletter. 
Please **Do not Reply** to this email. Write to us at or we won't see your note.

Are You Totally Confused by the complexities of Email? Don't
know about email accounts, clients, web based, headers, virus
killers, Subject lines, Pop 3's, aliases and all the other
Gobbledygook? The picture-driven 'Email for Newbies' from the
Newbie Club, will solve your frustrations immediately. Go NOW


<< MENU >>

==> 1. Tom's Thoughts ... "Is Your Brain Working Right?"
==> 2. Tutorial ... "Understanding Mysteries"
==> 3. Joe's Place ... "What A Load Of Rubbish"
==> 4. Tutorial ... "How Big is YOUR Hard Drive?"
==> 5. Administration ... "Stuff about your account"


A note from the Inbox

"Today I purchased the Email for Newbies. I love it. It
has so many helpful tips, I never knew how much I did not
know (if that makes sense).

"I am so glad that I discovered the Newbie Club. The Newbie
Clinic, TNC Keyboard and all the helpful tips in your
newsletter are priceless."

Thank you again,

Connie Hingert (note used by permission from author)

( Email for Newbies: )
( Keyboard Magic: )


==> 1. Tom's Thoughts: "Is Your Brain Working Right?"


Hello %name%,

After two days of sitting in class going through algorithms
and a half dozen mock codes, my brain is now healthier than
ever. I just don't know about my heart!

As part of the requirements for my new job in Surgical Services
I had to certify for Advanced Life Support with an American
Heart Association educator for requirements in the Surgical
Zone. (You don't want a nurse tending you after surgery who
doesn't know what to do if your heart decides to go on
vacation, right?)

So now I know what to do. 

First, I whip out my pocket computer, type in the symptoms
you are experiencing, then hit the "Analyze" key. Moments
later, I'm instructed to reboot my pocket computer because
it's performed an Illegal Operation. 

When I've rebooted, the dumb plastic instructor tells me
exactly what steps to take to save your life. Without this
marvel of technology, I'd have to think. And that's never

If you've read any of my thoughts in the past, you know I'm
*not* a normal person. That is, normal, everyday "Tom" who
works at Taco Bell coughing into the bean sauce. The thing is,
you're not "normal" either. I know this because you've taken
advantage of these newsletters and everything Newbie Club has
to offer. 

Okay, it's time to put the clown suit back in the trunk.

Seriously, the value of taking a Basic Life Support class, 
CPR, etc. cannot be measured. If have kids, grandchildren,
or you just plain care about other people's well-being and
would like to know what to do in an emergency situation,
look into taking a course. Call a community college or 
community center near you and ask about CPR classes. The
life you might save could be your child's.


Do you like expensive incredible software?

Good! Run out and buy the latest version of Micro$oft Magic,
the program that will infuse your brain with amazing
knowledge you can use to dumfound and amaze everyone around

No? Don't think so?

Your brain is a most valued resource. Always has been, always
will be. Since your heart's primary purpose is to pump oxygen
rich blood to your noggin, why not take a deep breathing break?
You've been staring at the computer too long. Sitting there
with bated breath stuff isn't a good thing.


Who are Tom and Joe, really? Just two guys who met one day after
Christmas, 1999. We met by email. We struck up a conversation
and decided to try something that had never been done. And on
that fate filled day, The Newbie Club was born. 

No diapers. No bottles. No mess! Unless you count the countless
pixels we left strewn around the Internet as we tore up and
down the alleys of cyberspace doing research.

Wow. Today Newbie Club has a heart and soul. And a brain.
We just have to remember how to use them all together so you
will benefit. The world is a tiny place. Lets try to make it
bigger, shall we? Begin with your thoughts... and keep reading
mine. <grin>

Wishing you the best, 


P.S. The Clinic is going to a totally new and improved model.
Better service, history of questions, knowledge base, and 
support for Windows XP in all flavors. If you're already a 
member, terrific! If not, examine the details here... <==Check it out!


Geek-Speak Buster: "Boy Who Peddles a Bicycle"

Last week I wrote that "a boy who peddles a bicycle that
carries people around" is a driver. How silly of me. 
Anyone knows a boy who peddles a bicycle is a salesman. 
A peddler. Now, if a boy pedals a bicycle, he's a rider. 

I never saw a boy ride a car, and people don't tend to
drive bikes. But in California, you never know for sure.



The Newbie Club Website Builder was written in Newbie-Speak by 4
people, to create a stunning 4 volume collection that blows away
the myths forever. Now you can create, write, design, automate,
upload and promote your very own individual Website! All with
FREE programs, pictures and graphics. See for
yourself and prepare yourself for a revelation. WOW what a
blockbuster! Visit for your FREE


==> 2. Tutorial: "Understanding Mysteries"


Ever tried to open a file, and get that box that shouts,
"I'm an idiot! I can't open that file! What program do 
you want me to use?!"

It's called the "Open With" dialog box. 

Try this. Open Notepad... (Start, Programs, Accessories,

Type a few letters... then click File, Save As, and give
it a name: "".

Save it to your Desktop for easy retrieval. 

Now, go to your Desktop and you'll see a new icon that looks
like a little Microsoft Window Logo flying on a white box. 

Try double clicking that icon... and you'll get the "Open
With" dialog box. 

Here's why. Windows didn't recognize the ".abc" file extension
and didn't know program to use to open the file. So it asks
you. Like you're some kind of guru, right?

If you had saved that file you created in Notepad and given it
a ".txt" extension, it would have opened up in Notepad when
you double clicked the icon. 

So... what do you do when trying to open a file that's real,
but you don't have the necessary program? The "Open With" 
dialog box will do you no good. 

You must install the program needed. 

For example, you receive a file by email attachment that's a
Microsoft Word document. You don't have Word installed on 
your computer, but do have Microsoft Works. 

You can't open a Word document with Works. Sorry. You'll have
to install MS Word. If you receive a file with a ".ppt"
extension, you need Power Point in order to open that file. 

Where you can find a list of file extensions, and the programs
needed to open those files? Right here:

You know how I knew where to find the web site that would show
you all the info you need? Easy. I just jumped over to and typed "file extensions" into the
search box. 

I also use Atomica to look up anything about everything. You
can, too! More info:

The web is crammed full of resources. And you only need a
couple of tools to find links to all the other tools you need
to build your home on the web. 

File extensions are the key. Once you understand how they work,
you've de-mystified another corner of your computer. 


------ Don't be Shy - Unzip with Confidence!

Some Zip programs are frustratingly confusing to use. But it's
essential to have one if you're downloading stuff from the Net.
'Unzip Wizard' is so simple it's impossible to go wrong. That's
because it's specifically designed with Newbies in mind. And
The Newbie Club has arranged a special discount for you at this
page. So now you can save AND unzip without embarrassment!

This is a stunner!


3. Joe's Place ... "What a Load of Rubbish!"


Hi there %name%, glad you could make it.

I've been doing a fair bit of surfing around the Internet
recently, researching for a new project. If you've done it
yourself, you'll know that it's quite time consuming, sometimes
exciting and most times boring.

The boredom derives from the number of boring and badly
designed Websites that abound cyberspace. Slow to load,
poor design, over abundance of hype and wild claims, or
content that I've seen on hundreds of other Websites. My
reaction to these kind of sites is the same as all the other
people who visit them ....


I've also recently bought a number of books and services from
the better sites. Some were well worth the money, and a
couple were just simply Rip-offs! And as for the quality of the
free ebooks I downloaded - well I was astonished by how
some people expect to gain respect by throwing together such
bundles of tired and outdated rubbish.

Still, that's their problem.

Anyway, I thought I'd share with you some of the good stuff
I've come across. Some may be of help, some may not, but
here goes anyway ...

It's been a while since I visited Jann Gentry's Digital Camera
site, and boy oh boy what a transformation since my last visit!
Jann wrote the Newbie Club ebook Digicam Magic some while
ago, and her site simply exudes professionalism and beauty. If
you have a digital camera pay her site a visit as soon as you
possibly can at

There's two great sites where you can get some excellent
branded goods just by paying the postage. Cameras, games,
kids, educational stuff, software of all kinds.

Here's a personal plug ...

I bought a couple of Copywriting books last week. Yes, I'm a
professional Copywriter, but anyone in business will tell you
that you *have* to invest in knowledge, if you wish to remain
successful. But the books I bought just don't hold a candle to
the Bible of Web Sales Copywriting, called Make Your Words
Sell! Yes, I wrote it, and it's sold through Ken Evoy's Site at

There's a product out there called 'Writers Friend Software'
and it costs $69. I've tried it - DON'T buy it because it's
rubbish! I've never rubbished a product before in public, but I
felt soooo ... well... so ... Ripped Off! by this pathetic
apology for a product that I felt sick. Nuff said.

On the other hand, compared to some of the books I've read
recently, Bob McElwain's excellent Newbie book called 'Your
Path To Success' is one of the best around. Plain talking. No
hype, no promises. Just down to earth useable advice from
one the most honest, and likeable guys I know. I think so
much about this book that I wrote to Bob congratulating him
on it, and he's placed my email on his Website at

Hmmmm, if I'm not careful, this article could become a book,
so I'll round up by recommending a visit to one of *the* best
Internet learning sites on the Net. Along with Tom, myself, and
a few other committed people, Azam Corey is also a Founding
Member of iCop - The International Council of Online
Professionals at

And Azam and I are also Members of the International Advisory
Council - so you can trust Azam implicitly. While you're there,
make sure you subscribe to his free newsletter - it's one of
the few I always read as soon as I receive it. Oops, I've
blathered on so long I forgot ...

OK, that's it for this week %name%. No humor, no
technological catastrophes, no lunkhead exploits. I still
experience them, but thought I'd give you a break (hello,
what's that 'Illegal Operation' note that's just flashed on my
screen? Probably Tom playing in the Operating Room).

Please use these resources. They all come with my personal
recommendation - and I don't give that lightly! Wait a minute,
why am I saying *please* use these resources? This article
took me 3 hours to write, so start clicking NOW - or else!

Keep smilin' %name%

Joe Robson

PS. I also have a living to make so I'm going to recommend
you buy 'Email for Newbies - The Gobbledygook Explained'
We're getting so many testimonials in from really happy
bunnies, it's becoming a full time job replying to them. Read all
about it at


Joe's Pause For Thought ...


I occasionally get emails disagreeing with my accredited
'source' for a particular quote. That's because some which
have played a significant part in my roller-coaster life have
stuck in my memory. And I pass them on as I remember them.
I read this one some years ago, but don't know the name of
the author ...

"The ladder of success is never crowded at the top. The
problem is fighting through the crowds at the bottom."



4. Tutorial: "How Big is YOUR Hard Drive?"


I'll share the size of mine without hesitation. My hard 
drive is 8 gigabytes big. It's a clunker. 

I've been using my computer with this hard drive for 3 years. 
And the silly thing still isn't full. But it works. 

I have 2 gigabytes of storage space left. 

How big is your hard drive? It's easy to find out, and the
picture is worth a couple of hundred words of explanation.
Do this: Locate My Computer icon... and double click. Once
the new window is open, locate your C: drive. RIGHT click on
the C: drive, select Properties by clicking.

You now have all the properties of your C: drive at your
disposal. You see the total size, the amount of space that's
being used, and the remainder of free space. 

Why is this information important? If your hard drive is
filling up with data, you need to know it. And you need to
remove some junk if you don't have at least 250 megabytes
of FREE space. That's not much, and is a BARE MINIMUM

How much space in real picture terms is a rather small 20
gigabyte hard drive?

Picture an Olympic sized swimming pool.

That's your hard drive. 

Now, how does Email for Newbies, which is 500K in size, 
compare? It's a cup of water. 

You only have so much room in your pool. Throw in enough cups
of liquid and eventually the pool overflows. But it takes a
*lot* of time!

If you don't buy and install every game in the store, or
spend each day downloading free ebooks, you won't have to
worry about filling up your hard drive to overflowing. 

And by all means, take advantage of the excellent learning
tools we provide. You can never fill up your computer with
enough *good* material. :-)

----------- "Take a Look at Your Keyboard Right NOW!"

Just look at all those keys! Go on, take a look. I'll guarantee
you've often wondered WHY there are so many - F1, Insert, Tab,
Ctrl, Pr Scr, End, Home, Alt, Pause, PgUp, Shift, Sys Rq, and
the rest. Why? And what about all those keys with the funny
looking characters like ~ # > \ ^ ? Sheesh, surely someone put
them there for a reason! And yet you NEVER use them. 'Keyboard
MAGIC!' by The Newbie Club, outsold all their other products in
the first 5 days of release. Find out why, and brace yourself
for an eye-opener at


Geek Speak Buster: "Swimming Pool"

A hole dug in the ground and filled with water. Use to
illustrate the size of a hard drive when compared to the
size of a 500K software product. Reverse engineered so 
geeks will understand what we're talking about, as they've
never seen a swimming pool and have questions about such

Some swimming pools are above ground, filled with salt water,
and used to house sharks. Stay out of those. 


So you're not such a Newbie after all? Like to know what makes
Windows act the way it does? Then this ebook will give you a
quick, easy understanding of your PC's Brain. It's called 'The
Registry For Newbies' and you can read all about it here...

See Techie-Speak translated into Newbie-Speak by an expert!


Got your FREE exclusive Newbie Club eBooks yet?


"Guide To The Internet - An Overview" features the combined
advice of 18 of the Internet's most successful marketers.

"Scientific Advertising On The Internet" contains the world
famous Claude C. Hopkins' Classic, plus observations and
Copywriting Tutorials by Newbie Club co-founder Joe Robson,
who is also co-author of the blockbuster "Make Your Words Sell"
with Ken Evoy. Details at

Get both Newbie Club books FREE from The Newbie Club Academy at

And don't forget, you can get your own Fully Customizable
Guestbook for your site absolutely FREE. This Newbie Club
creation is so packed with too many features to list here. And
it's an absolute dream to install - no experience needed!


Email courses and articles are available. Just send a blank
email (no message needed, just the address is all) to any of the

Course: Building Your Own Website:

Course: Backing up your files:

Course: Getting organized:

Course: Finding files anywhere on your PC:

Course: Configuring your startup programs:


5. Administration


Subscription details:

To make changes to your membership details, such as updating
your name or email address, or unsubscribing (huh?), visit your
membership management headquarters...

Click==> and check on
your details now! You should see your info listed as ...

Name: %name%
Address: %email%

You can cancel your membership, change your name, update your
email address and more.

Back issues of the INSIDER are found here...

The TNC INSIDER is a publication of The Newbie Club and is
owned by Roglan International LLC, whose partners are
Tom Glander (US) and Joe Robson (UK).

(C) 2002 The Newbie Club(TM) All Rights Reserved

Computer problems are solved daily at the Newbie Club Clinic.
If you haven't checked in for a visit, you owe it to you and
your computer's health. It's excellent insurance! <==Visit Now!

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